Today's Affirmation

 

"Today I will begin to improve my relationships by articulating when I feel angry or hurt."

 

 

Tell me if this sounds familiar.

 

"What's wrong?"

:::shrug:::eye rolls:::strong huff:::

"C'mon, what's wrong?  Tell me."

:::big strong huff:::grimace:::

"What did I do?  Why are you mad?"

:::frustration building:::anger building::::"You ought to know!  You ought to know what's wrong!  You should know why I'm mad!"

" I don't know!  What did I do?"

"Seriously?  Seriously?  You don't know why I am upset?  C'mon!"

"No, really, tell me!"

:::::head shake::::walk away slamming doors:::

 

 

So here it is:

 

Why should the other person "ought to know" what is wrong with you?  Why should the other person "ought to know" why you are angry with them?

 

Are they psychic?  Can they read your mind?

 

Look, some people legitimately DO NOT KNOW what has pissed you off.  So, unless you tell them, they cannot repair whatever damage they may not have intentionally done to you.

 

Stop being so uppity and just open your mouth and say, "I am angry because...." or "I felt hurt when..." or "It really bothered me that..."

 

What is the big deal?  Are you the center of the Universe that everyone has to revolve around you and read your mind?

 

I know I sound harsh this morning, but I am trying to get you to realize that the mode of your communication may not be fair to the one with whom you are in a relationship.  Sometimes, your friend/lover/sister/brother/colleague/etc.  really, really may not understand the deep inner workings of your emotions and really, really may understand what has upset you.

 

They may look upon their own behavior as normal or natural and not something that others would be upset over.  And they legitimately don't understand. 

 

You must vocalize, as best you can, the reasons why their behavior has hurt you and why you are angry.

 

If you cannot do this, then the relationship has stalled because you will never be able to talk candidly about issues that arise and then resentment sets in which is definitely not a healthy ingredient in a productive relationship.

 

Take my word for it.  At first it may seem difficult to express because you are probably not one who has be trained to communicate effectively.  As time goes on, the more you do your best to articulate the issues, the easier it becomes and the more progress you will make.  Thus, the healthier the relationship.  So give yourself and the other person a reasonable chance to build a healthy relationship based on communication.

 

In Love and Light-Always,

Robin