Today's Affirmation

 

"Today, I will reevaluate my expectations of others."

 

 

Just as we should stop trying to live up to others' expectations of us, they too, have to stop trying to live up to our expectations of them.

 

We cannot change people.  We truly cannot.  We may be able to see the potential in them, but if they do not see the potential in themselves, then no matter how many demands we make, no matter how much we want to help them, they have to make their own decisions.

 

This can be very, very frustrating because we want to have quality relationships with our loved ones, and we look at our loved one and say, "I could have a quality relationship if only he/she would..."

If we could just tweek that particular little (or big) habit of  into what we want or to what we think it should be, then we could have the relationship we want.

 

But the reality is relationships are a two way street and if our loved one cannot or does not want or is incapable of making a modification in his or her own behavior, then everything we do is not going to work no matter hard much we threaten, scream, organize, demand, issue ultimatums, cry, pout, throw things.................

 

Here are the options.  One, live with it the way it is.  Two, If you cannot live with it, then it might be time to either change your expectations or change your status in the relationship, Three, get help for yourself and reevaluate your role and your own expectations and get yourself into a better space.

 

I am not trying to force you into a separation in the relationship.  I certainly am not.  But how many of us are still in relationships because we think we can change the person or because we are waiting for the person to change.  We are waiting, we have waited, we are still waiting, we will continue to wait.  But when does the waiting end before we consciously recognize that perhaps we will wait forever unless we do something.   

 

Evaluate, clearly, the reality of the situation.  Assess your own expectations of yourself and your loved one.  This may be hard because we don't want to believe that there is something in us that is wrong that may be contributing to the situation.  (I want you know that whatever the situation in the relationship is, you DID NOT cause it, nor can you cure it, but your behavior and expectations may be contributing to it.)

 

I know you say you love him/her.  Do you love them exactly as they are??  Can you live with exactly who they are??  without change??  Or are you still hoping to wake up each morning hoping that maybe today will be different, today maybe he/she will make a change, and thus your relationship will miraculously become new and improved?

 

Think  about it. 

 

Consider how much or little you are hurting.  Will you still continue to be repetitively hurt if you continue the relationship?  Will you continue to hurt if you sever the relationship?

 

All I am asking is that you think about it.  Make your choices with knowledge and willingnesss.  And then be willing to live with the choices you make.

 

In Love and Light-Always,

Robin