Today's Affirmation

 

Today I will set and patrol my personal boundaries.  I will not feel guilty when saying, "No."

 

Good morning, and happy Saturday!

 



 

It is so hard to say NO, especially to those whom we love.  But saying NO is sometimes the very best think that we can do for ourselves.

 

Those of us who are givers, give all the time, and those to whom we give often don't appreciate our giving and take for granted that we will always give because we have always given.

 

But giving can be exhausting.  Giving requires personal sacrifice-the sacrifice of time, of resources. of energy.  Even when we don't really have the time or the resources or the energy, we give anyway.

This unlimited giving puts us in deficit.  We know we are deficit, we feel deficient, we feel depleted, so why don't we just say, "No, I'm sorry, I would really like to, but right now, I just can't do it."  Why don't we just say, "It's not a good time for me right now."  Why don't we say, "I would like to help, but I know that you will find another way to get the job done."

 

We don't say any of these things because we feel that we can't let anyone down, that we don't want to disappoint anyone.  We have been trained since childhood to be givers, to be generous.  In my traditional Portuguese family, the more sacrifices one made, the more personal suffering one experienced, the more selfless one was, the more the door to heaven opened.  Silly really.  But I realize that today.  I didn't realize it years ago.

 

We give and give because we were never told that it is perfectly OK to have boundaries and limits.  We were never told that it is OK to say NO.  But I am telling you now, it IS OK to say NO.  It is OK to form hardfast boundaries and limitations and to patrol them and to stick by them.

 

We need to do this for no one else but ourselves.  We have value.  We have worth.  Our time is valuable, our resources are valuable, our energy is valuable.  We need to embrace the idea that WE are valuable to ourselves.

 

We need to take care of ourselves so that when are capable of giving, we can give without putting ourselves in deficit. 

 

Setting boundaries and limitations is not an easy thing to do, especially if we have never had them.  But we owe it to ourselves to draw a line and say, this is as far as I am willing to go.  This is as far as I will allow you to go.  Then we need to stick with it.

 

We shouldn't worry about what others say about it.  At first they will be caught by surprise because we have never said NO before, we have always been agreeable.  Eventually, however, as we change our behavior, and keep our boundaries and limitations in tact, they will begin to recognize them and perhaps ask less frequently.

 

Being true to ourselves, by saying NO once in a while, by setting boundaries and limitations, we are taking care of ourselves.  And let's face it, if we don't take care of ourselves, who else will take care of us in the way that we need taking care of?

 

So, dear friends, for today, practice saying, "Gee, I would really like to help you out, but I just can't do it today." AND stick with it-it may be hard to do at first, but I have faith in you!

 

In Love and Light,

Robin